[when you jokingly threaten to insult someone's waterfowl, Reilanin, you must see it through to the end]

Please be sure to tell them this letter is from me, so they don't become confused and get angry at you instead.

Dear Pendleton and Duck:

I have never met such a pair of pitiful freeloaders such as yourselves! One would think that with all the time you save on taking care of your basic needs, you would have plenty of opportunity to better yourselves, but Reilanin has informed me that the two of you can't so much as read!

What in the world do you do with all of that free time? Clearly you don't spend it caring for your personal grooming. Pendleton, your eyebrows are a disgrace. And Duck, those are some of the greasiest feathers I have ever seen. I really am quite appalled at the both of you!

Disrespectfully yours,

Nova