[Oh god, she is less coy. Who else is she going to talk this out with? Harriet? Unlikely. Iravati? Uh, she has no idea. Marlene? That would actually be an idea.]

I think he hates me except maybe not, then I kind of like him, except it might just be guilt for the reasons that he might hate me.

Which are very good reasons to hate me.

But I do care about him. And he's going through a lot and I feel bad for him and want to try to make things better. Except being around him might make it worse for him, except that he has never said that and is hard to read. Which sort of completes the terrible angst sundae.