If you don't think you judge you just have an unnecessarily narrow definition of the word.

Maybe I should make you a document with stars and arrows circling all the times in this conversation you purposely insulted me!!

[if he knew how....

he's willing to google it]

I think even if you were struggling for your life it's strange if you never spared a single thought for the person you created. Try saying the same thing about your child and see how it sounds to you.