zenderael_ol | (no subject)

[ she jumped on her phone a lot faster than she'll ever admit. it takes a bit before she replies because she wants to find an isolated spot. some of the other clerics are giving her looks of varying degrees of interest. ]

You're there already? [ you weren't there already? she's lost all track of time, it feels like. ]

It's been all right. Busy, but most of it feels like preparation.

Are you well?

Outside of it, at least. We haven't taken it back yet.
Rhys and Virelai are here. Bonecrush, too. They seem to be doing fine.

That's good. Glad to hear it.

I'm healthy. [... true, but stale.]

Are you free? I could call you.

[ she could answer the rest but the question catches her off guard. call? right, they can do that with phones... ]

Yeah... yeah, there's nothing going on. You can phone if you have time.

[better than typing. it makes his finger numb. how does rhys put up with it? but calling is still a foreign concept. he tries it out and flinches from the ringtone, only bringing it to his ear once it stops.]

Ash?

[ she sends her message and then stares at her phone in her hand while she waits to see what happens next. she's never phoned anyone, and no one's ever phoned her... and rhys certainly never used his for this purpose.

she jumps when it rings and vibrates, nearly dropping it. she scrambles to keep it in hand and takes a moment to fuss and answer ]

Victor?

[ there's no natural instinct to say "hello?", so she launches into his name. she can be heard releasing a sigh of relief ]

How are- I mean, are you... h-how are things? What are you doing?

[it's strange, isn't it? he's not used to it either, but he likes it better already. voices are more reassuring.]

I'm in my tent now. I don't know all the details, but I think it's gone according to plan.

The, ah, the Mazda spoke to me earlier. She mentioned you. I should have contacted you sooner.

Oh! She really is the Mazda, then...

[ well it's nice to be reassured. holding the phone up to one ear, she folds the other in front of her, small fidgety motions while they talk. it's harder to keep in check when the person isn't physically there ]

Well... thanks. For checking. I mean- I didn't want to impose, I don't know what you're doing- ah! B-but that's okay, I don't mean to say that I should have been... told or anything...

[ she catches herself before she can keep rambling. she trails off sounding sheepish instead ]

H-how is Rhys? And Vivi?

[He laughs a little.] Not what I would have expected myself.

They're worried, but trying not to look it. Like most of us.

[But he pauses, going back to her rambling.]

No, I-- I should have said something. I just didn't know what it was I would say. I can't give reassurances like I used to.

[It makes it sound like he was a bigger liar as Victor than Rayu ever was.]

What is she like?

[ not a jealous question, but definitely a curious one. there's only so much you can glean from someone with only words.

she hums at his assessment of rhys and virelai, looking down to her robes and picking off an invisible bit of fluff. she wants to get him talking just so she can listen, but that seems a little silly of her to try.

she hesitates, not saying anything right away ]

It's all right.

Ah- I mean, really. It's all right. I don't think- I really don't think I'm the type that needs reassurances... or would take them seriously anyway. It's not like I don't know what's happening. Or... or it's not like I'm not getting told anyway. This far away, there are a lot of rumours and things that get jumbled up from the people that come through.

She was friend, and a little uncertain, but not skittish.

[not the strict, no-nonsense, never show weakness woman the former was, essentially.]

[when she doesn't say anything, he wonders if that was a step too far. he doesn't mean to blame her for that. it's a fact now that he isn't who he used to be. the old victor was encouraging. cheerful, even. there was less cheer to go around, and less ways to wield it.]

I don't want you to have to rely on rumors. We're-- [what? they were what? he sighs instead of finishing.] Well, this may not last long enough for communication to be a concern. I have a feeling, win or lose, this will end quickly.

Edited 2013-04-20 06:23 (UTC)

It wouldn't do her well to be skittish. They speak well enough of her here. They're worried about her age and inexperience, but I think she's better off than the Spenta and Ahura, just because her predecessor is still here...

[ they still whisper about her, too. her legacy won't die anytime soon, that's for her.

she's silent for a moment, considering. it would be nice to think that, that it'll be over quickly, that they'll win, that they can just go back and everything will be fine. but it's not going to be easy, even if the first two are accomplished. the third will take a lot of work, she's sure. druids and rogues under a ruthless, anarchistic king? she's actually not quite sure what it could all end up looking like. ]

...how has everyone been treating you?

[he's thankful for it. the mazda going to war without her predecessor to back her could have been disastrous. people often look for someone to blame.]

[that's a... complex question. victor's silent a moment.]

I keep with the spellswords and avoid the paladins, but it would surprise me if whispers weren't spreading. I'm not worried about friendly fire. It isn't the way of paladins, but if I were to be left wounded...

[the opposite of reassuring]

Ah-- not that I'm alone. There are people here who trust me.

[ she thins her lips out but doesn't comment. not reassuring at all, but she can see it as a possibility, him being left out alone on the battlefield. but the spenta wouldn't let that happen. would he? or virelai, or rhys... but battlefields are big things, and there's no guarantee...

she has to force herself from clearing her throat, blinking a few times. it's nothing she has control over. she can't get worked up about a hypothetical. not when there's so much that's concrete around her to worry about. ]

It'll work out. Do what you have to and they'll come around. I'm sure of it.

[ people didn't just come back from the dead for no reason. even if that reason had to be looked for after he came back... ]

...didn't you ever practice any healing? You should consider learning some when this is over. Even a little can change a lot.

I'll give them the best I've got.

["You're right," he should be saying, but only as a hazy memory. there must be a way around this.]

Ah-- no. My partner was a healer. It seemed redundant. [...] There are times I've wished I had it since then, admittedly, but I haven't even remembered what I lost before.

Really?

[ there's a brief pause ]

Maybe your next partner will be the same?...

[ ah, that's right... when they get back to bastan, that will be different, too. she'll probably end up with the Order again, or at least will keep to bastan, not being well suited to adventuring or fighting. even if it's just patrolling, it'll be another paladin, not a cleric, that joins him.

somehow trying to think of doing something other than what she's been doing the past two months is difficult to do, hard to imagine. ]

What will you end up doing when everything settles down? Will you patrol again? That's what you did before, you said?

["next" partner. that was it, he realizes. the word.]

Ah, well, you--

[and just as quickly realizes the problem with it. she felt like it, but that doesn't make it true.]

[among paladins, who would even take him? there's only ravindra, but akhilendra has forced changes there. not to mention new partners.]

It's up to the Spenta, but a war isn't enough to make up for everything. [nothing is.] But Bastan may have different needs after this. We'll see.

I?... I what?

[ the drop off is confusing and she waits for his answer with a small sense of dread, not knowing where that was leading. she's almost used to those little blips in conversation. he's realized something and has to rethink what he's going to say. ]

But it-! [ she begins in her usual explosive manner, but quickly shuts down, pressing her lips together again. It's more than war. but it's bias at work, and he's earnest in what he's said. and he has a point- who knows what bastan's needs will actually be once they return. ]

...another cleric mentioned something about flushing out rogue influence in Everea. Maybe that...?

There's an idea. Even if we take back Bastan, they're... rogues. They get into everything. It wouldn't surprise me if the assassins were doing it themselves. More quietly, of course.

[but he's a paladin and he's morally obligated to suspect assassins of everything terrible.]

What about you? Are you rejoining the Order?

Well, it's not like the assassins have been giving us trouble, lately. Politically speaking, anyway. Personally...

[ she trails off in something like a mutter. she's talking about siegmund, but that's another issue entirely, and one she never comprised him of. ]

It would keep you busy, though... that's for sure. I don't even know if it would be possible... maybe just enough to keep an underground from forming?...

[ ah, that question... ]

I don't... I don't know. I've been thinking about it. There weren't many to begin with, but there's only a small handful of us now... there may still be some alive in Bastan, but as much as anyone might be. [ silence ] I don't know what I'll do.

[shh ash you're using logic. he silently has to agree, but everea's future is uncertain right now. everything's conjecture.]

[her uncertainties, too.]

But is it something you would want?

I don't... know... what I want.

[ it's a blatant lie, but it's hard to tell, not being able to look at her. what she wants isn't something she can ask for.

at the very least, any desire theresa had given her had played itself out somehow. she'd never considered what to do with her life now that it was hers- ever since she'd awoken, she'd been forced to live firmly in the present. ]

I'm not against going back to them, at least.

[he frowns on the other side. with the resurrection, he wonders if she's outgrown her need for it. maybe their philosophies don't ring as true for her as they once did.]

We'll figure it out. [not an assurance, but a promise.] There's time. And there's a lot we don't know yet. One step at a time, right?

....yeah. Yeah, one step at a time. We still have to see this through, don't we?

[ she's not sure if that's reassuring or not, either. well, it doesn't have to be. it's war, it is what it is. there's not much a person can do to make it better... ]

I'm sorry. You have so much on your mind, I'm not really making it better, am I? I don't even have any news to cheer you up with, really...

...oh! I met the Khshathra, I think. She said as much but... well, who do you believe, right?

No, it's fine. You're... fine.

[only thinking in truths does not grant him the ability to communicate them.]

Ah? [genuine surprise] The former was-- So a new one's taken her place? Supposedly. What was she like? Another Earther?

Ahaha... if you say so. [ she smiles at the answer. it's the truth as he sees it, and that's good enough, no matter how badly articulated it is. fine is... it's good enough.

she hums, considering that ]

Ah, well... I think she's about my age, actually...? I bumped into her at the market while I was buying potions. Earther, yes... she knew Rhys from before... ah, but only online, she said?... I was getting the impression most of them knew one another personally, but I guess not.

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