[Texts: Lera, Duncan]

[suddenly_science]

[This is not a group text, but she sends exactly the same message to both of them]

I MET ARTEMIS

IT WAS AWFUL

Comments

[suddenly_science]

I dunno, what makes a good Sharifa?

[firecracker_hopping]

I...um. I think... someone who tries to do things right. And looks after people. And tries to make everything work out, whatever comes up. There's not really a good job description for what we gotta do.

[suddenly_science]

Is there a desk hiding policy in there anywhere?

[firecracker_hopping]

...it's not recommended...

[suddenly_science]

Auuuugh this is the worrrst! [face in hands]

[firecracker_hopping]

You got upset. It's okay, there's nothing that says sharifas can't get worked up. [shoulder pat]

[suddenly_science]

[sigh!]

Anyway, it was ridiculous and awful and there is no taking it back now.

[firecracker_hopping]

[More shoulder pat. :(]

I know, I know... he should have been nicer, though.

[suddenly_science]

If you say so...

[firecracker_hopping]

You don't deserve to be talked down to!

[Firm nod.]

...do, uh, do you wanna be a better Sharifa?

[suddenly_science]

I KNEW IT, I'M A BAD SHARIFA AREN'T I! YOU SHOULD HAVE JUST TOLD ME! I CAN TAKE IT!

[firecracker_hopping]

You aren't a bad sharifa! [Lera starts to look annoyed by that, in fact. Her fingers tense, but she keeps them from balling into a fist.] We're all--none of us are just naturals at this! We can all get better!

[suddenly_science]

If I wasn't BAD why would I need to get better?!

[firecracker_hopping]

You can get better without sucking! You--you listen when people give you advice, you try to help people out in need even if you don't know them, and you try to keep your people happy. Those aren't things a bad Sharifa does.

[She folds her arms.]

But no one's perfect. There's always things you can work on.

[suddenly_science]

I... see.

Your theory sounds plausible.

[firecracker_hopping]

Besides... [sigh] He probably thinks there's only one kind of good Sharifa. Probably some hardassed politically manipulative type, who's completely fearless and ruthless. Like how the only kind of good Mazda is supposed to be a cold, detached, humorless person that might literally think they're a sword.

[suddenly_science]

Yeah!! ... maybe. ...maybe.

Uuuugh I still wish I could go back in time and punch myself in the face.

[firecracker_hopping]

Your hiding under the desk self or a different one?

[suddenly_science]

I guess... the self immediately prior to hiding under the desk.

[firecracker_hopping]

...We could get drunk enough that you temporarily forget her existence! That's kinda like time punching!

[suddenly_science]

Isn't that a textbook unhealthy response to an uncomfortable life setback?

[firecracker_hopping]

It's science fact that being healthy all the time is very unhealthy.

[suddenly_science]

I guess I'll buy that...

[firecracker_hopping]

I am an expert!