zenderael_ol | (no subject)

[Dragonmail: Rayu Barozu]

Are you all right?

[The first letter he sends upon waking up Sunday morning. He needs to know if Rayu's okay. Ravi getting out doesn't mean Rayu pulled through, though he's hopeful it does. So hopeful, in fact, that he doesn't even consider Rayu being dead as a real possibility.]

[It's sobering when the dragon refuses to take the letter.]

[A couple hours of desperate panic ensue as he tries to find someone who can tell him what happened. He comes up short, and then remembers...]

[Dragonmail: The Ahura]

[Rayu's player.]

Victor. What happened to him?

[And then a few hours after that, once he's had time to settle and realizes there are other people he needs to get in touch with. Early Sunday afternoon, by this point.]

[Dragonmail: Alexander Varista]

Are you all right?

Why did you leave us?

[Dragonmail: Reilanin]

[please let this letter send, please do not tell him that the god-organ changed hands and she died in the process]

I don't know if Alex told you about the mission on Friday night, but I survived it.

What happened with the Asha?

[OH THANK GOD the dragon took it]

[there are probably other people he should write but he just does not have the energy right now. Later. Tomorrow, maybe, if he's feeling better enough for it then.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Yes, I think so. [he understands that feeling well. he wants to be important to the people who are important to him. it's a trait he shares with akhi, but akhi took it to an unreasonable extreme.]

They only had power because they could control us. Without that they don't have anything.

[pause...]

You're important to me, Reilanin.

Yes...

But they are still people.

[ it's something she's struggling with. her feelings towards theresa are mild at best, but she doesn't particularly loathe her... and she knows very little of duncan as a person as well, and it's been what he's done, not really duncan himself, that she has issue with...

it's hard to know where to stand on the issue. for her, at least.

the statement gives her reason to pause, and she simply rereads it a few times, basking in it. ]

Thank you.

That means very much to me.

[dammit thanks he never knows how to answer those. but it makes him smile, at least.]

I'm glad.

[and delay, while he considers 'players are still people.' sigh, yes, that is something he was forced to confront after his fight with the Spenta, that all players are different and should be judged individually, just like anybody else.]

[AND HE HATES IT.]

[no but, he struggles with it sometimes, at least]

Yes. They are still people.

But it's strange to think of them that way. They're people who know everything about us when we know nothing about them.

It's uncomfortable.

Is it? I suppose so. There wasn't much of me for her to know. There's more she doesn't now, and I have the choice of telling her or not telling her. And I've chosen not to.

I am sorry you do not have that same freedom.

I wonder sometimes if I would rather have your situation. Having no past seems better, sometimes.

I have never minded it... it is outside influences that have made me feel otherwise.

And it has made me sad to know that I could never be a part of another's life the way others are. To have a whole history, whole memories...

But, I am content with who and what I am, and what I have. I do not seek to change any of it.

[does that mean he wouldn't be able to have iravati if he didn't have a past?]

[...maybe his life is worth it, then, if that's the alternative...]

Even I don't have a whole history or whole memories, even if it's more whole than yours.

I don't think it stops you from being a part of someone's life.

I suppose.

...perhaps I am a little jealous, though. Time also gives strength to one's importance, does it not?

[jealous :< now he feels bad. does that mean she's jealous of the closeness between him and Vati?]

[he did hurt reilanin over it...]

Ah, I suppose that's true. But there are people I've known a very long time who aren't important to me at all, and people I've known a very short time who are. So it's not as plain as that.

Mm...

Then it makes no difference. I will make my own history.

Yes.

You have a good start on it already.

[ .... :>

there's a long pause after this... some debate on what to do next. the matter of alexander still bothers her greatly, and she wants to do something for ravindra, but there's nothing to be done in the apartment.

she goes out and wanders a bit, aimless, until she finds the little store with the little toy animals in it again.

what finally is sent back to him is a small plush cat, chibi-style, orange and white with little whiskers, the same style as the little fat dog she got for alexander. hope you like it, ravi ]

[oh my goodness rei he loves it, it is the cutest. he sends back a thank you but it does not really capture how happy he is to get something like this from her]