[Text: Marlene]

[taking_names]

[more artifacts from week 32 sorry!]

So I assume by now you heard what I did and think I am the worst person on the continent.

If that is somehow not the case please let me know, otherwise my plan is to hide from you forever if that's all right.

Comments

[taking_names]

I know, right!

[marleneonthewall]

He really killed you, though?

That's difficult to imagine.

[taking_names]

I challenged him to a swordfight and at the end he used a paralysis potion and then shot me.

If I had met him under other conditions I think I'd have trouble picturing it too.

[marleneonthewall]

[oh.]

[she...gave him a lot of sword advice. including helping him buy one. :(;;; ]

[wait though if nova challenged him to a swordfight...]

Were you hoping to kill him too?

[taking_names]

The other way around. That was my other terrible idea that day. I got over it before I actually made it to the Dark.

[marleneonthewall]

Why?

[taking_names]

Because I had to go there one day anyway and I wanted to be my old self from before I awakened so much that being who I really was seemed like a miserable waste of time.

But do you know what is actually a miserable waste of time? The Dark.

[marleneonthewall]

Yeah, I can imagine.

You're not going to do anything that stupid again, yeah?

[taking_names]

Not a chance!

Apparently there's nothing like going to the Dark to make your life seem more appealing.

[marleneonthewall]

Well good! What's your plan now that you've shaped up?

[taking_names]

Discovering the secret to eternal life.

...and dating someone.

Opposite order, though.

[marleneonthewall]

Ooh~! Who's the lucky bird/bloke?

Maybe best to just work on enjoying what you've got for now.

[taking_names]

I lost the ability to use names while I was in the Dark!

I don't think you know her, either way. She's from earth but was pulled to our world during the time you were on earth.

[marleneonthewall]

What? You're joking! [oh but Missie went blind, maybe that's related...?]

What's she like, then?

[taking_names]

Tough and funny and crazy.

We met when she dumped a beer on me at the tournament and then started throwing bread crumbs in my hair unprovoked so I shrank her with a potion.

[marleneonthewall]

Somehow, landing a bird like that sounds just like you.

[taking_names]

I know, right!

...say so by the way do you happen to have any ...experience with relationships

[marleneonthewall]

I'm positively bursting at the seams with romantic advice! Come on then, talk to Auntie Marlene.

[taking_names]

Ah, well...

It turns out I didn't really retain any memories after I woke up of...

precisely what people "do" together

I mean, I have the absolute basics of what goes where. But not so much how one makes it agreeable.

...This may have been a different sort of question than you were expecting.

[marleneonthewall]

[YES.]

[YES IT IS VERY DIFFERENT FROM WHAT SHE WAS EXPECTING.]

[UM?!]

Er [backspaced]

Are you asking me what to do with a lady when you've got her in your bed?

[taking_names]

Maybe not!

That would be a very strange thing to ask, wouldn't it!!

[marleneonthewall]

Well it isn't as though I don't know! [HA HA HA EXCEPT SHE DOESN'T]

I mean, I'm a woman too, after all. [WHY DID SHE SEND THAT OH GOD]

[taking_names]

If you did have perhaps a tiny little bit of advice about it, I could probably use it...

[marleneonthewall]

[see the thing is]

[she has actually never had sex before?!?!]

[there was never anybody she trusted enough that she also wanted to do it with, soo... she wouldn't even really be able to give him advice ANYWAY]

[WHY DID SHE COMMIT HERSELF TO THIS]

Right.

Well, everyone's different, you could ask her what sort of things turn her on.

[taking_names]

Ah! That's really wise!