[Forum post from account silentsiren, which has a little flag for Guild Manager (But Not Quite An Actual GL)]

This is a little more formal than this venue usually gets, but it seems the best way to get word out quickly. I am Laura, assistant to the Vairya.

The man Acher, who assisted King Aerveas in prosecuting his war earlier this year, has attacked Enghelab using some device to disable electronic equipment, and a small army. They are killing everybody they see, apparently intent on conquering it and possibly Pakerion as a whole. The Vairya is among the dead. Again.

A new Vairya has already ascended. While she gets up to speed, she has called for the Rogues to move to drive Acher and his forces out of Enghelab. She has placed a Guild bounty on the head of any man who has fought for Acher. Any other force that wishes to assist would be appreciated.

For my own part, I would like to stress that somebody please kill this bastard before he goes for the hat trick.

[While Nova is out.]

How do you get flamingo juice and blood stains out of the carpet?

Just hypothetically, of course.

...I have a craving for flamingo.

Ah, sooooo

I know half of you possibly hates me forever right now, but did you hear about the big cooking competition to calm the volcano dragon?

Would the other half of you perhaps like to join it with me and bake something that will go down in history?

I mean, of course I guess it has to be all of you, does this method of communicating even make sense?

[sent from this Random Letters account he has been using lately, same one from the flailing on the forum]

[this is later in the day, after the search proved fruitless]

What do you think happened to him?

[good job providing context there Nova

WHATEVER, IF HEIMDALL DOESN'T KNOW WHAT HE'S TALKING ABOUT THEN HE'S A BAD PLAYERDAD]

Girl who switched places with my friend that one time and left him on a tower:

Did you recently drag him into some kind of dangerous shenanigans and leave him someplace weird like the top of a building or a ravine

Please fess up this is urgent

- cards guy

[So first she gets a phone call from Duncan and they proceed to panic at each other about Artemis going missing, and then Duncan asks if she can see if Nova knows anything about it. reasons why duncan cannot ask nova himself: obvious.]

Oi, I can't find Artemis anywhere. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you?

[To make up for neglecting to consider Vati's feelings when murdering her player, he has started consulting her on matters both big and small, serious and silly.

She is The Wise and Amazing One, after all.

So this is coming on the tail of a message like "what do you think it's REALLY like to be a cat?"]

What do you think it means to be a good person?

Ar...rrrrt~!

...That doesn't seem like enough name for you. Isn't your real name longer? I thought it used to annoy you when people would shorten it. I can't really think of how to shorten Art.

Maybe I should just add some syllables. Artifice? Artisan? Artwork?

Ah, anyway, how are you doing? Are you still working on an outfit for your player? Call me when you're done burying yourself in work!!

[he was going to let this go but it just kept knocking around in his head and before he knew it he was internet stalking Siegmund to find out his identity and...]

So on a scale of one to ten, how impossible is it for a very friendly and kind person who might have once temporarily blinded you in a fit of misguided anger to make amends?

Ten means super impossible.

[...Nova has kind of a player problem]

[sent from an empty account that is just a lot of letters strung together]

How is the sale going?

I wish I could be there, but I trust in your abilities! It is time to spread your wings and fly!

Or lie, rather.

How are you doing?

I have been testing my rogue skills in the city filled with hotels and casinos. Mostly good results except for accidentally interfering with an assassination plot and getting chased around for a while, and summoning a herd of flamingos. [picture of a flamingo included in the text]

[so this actually happened]

Accidentally interfered with massive assassin plot, plz find a cleric to rezz

[posted from anonymous]

This is a question for the cleric leader.

Do cats have souls?

Hello Nova. This is Reilanin. I think you will have to look up my piece of paper.

Did you switch into any different bodies?

I did. I was a cleric, and a bird. And I was also Ravindra. (He is also in your pieces of paper. He is the paladin.)

It was very interesting. I do not think Ravindra is very interested in how different it was, but you might be. Did you know that sleep is wonderful? And cats are warm? And apples are very sweet, and they smell sweet, too. I did not know apples had a smell.

Being a human was very strange, but I liked it. Being a bird was very nice, too.

[it's true that Vati might hate him forever for this, but he's going to approach the situation optimistically

guilt is stupid anyway]

I'm sorry I tried to eat you. How can I make this right?

[suddenly finding yourself in the middle of some alchemist experiment and KNOWING EXACTLY WHAT IT WAS was not what Irena had expected to have happen.

but realizing she was not just an alchemist, but THE KHSHATHRA!!!! gets her really excited!

she logs into her own account so Nova knows who this is]

NOVA

I'M YOUR GUILD LEADER

except not really because you're not an alchemist anymore

[she has no idea when Nova will get this because it's only just after midnight so she starts looking over all of Harriet's research stuff]

[after 'Val' leaves the Grove with Flam]

Val's a wig-maker. 8D

I'm looking for the person who put tornadoes in my hair!

...are you me right now. Because I think I'm you.