[DRAGONMAIL: EVERYONE JAMIE KNOWS wait no]

[redeyedmask]

[ To Ravindra, about 10 minutes after the server goes down. Jamie had been debating this and knows nothing about Ravi since he went real but Ravi's the only person he thinks Ferrus might actually open up to. When Ravi gets it, it's been written partially in ink (with a good many scratchthroughs), and then it suddenly swaps to pencil after the first sentence. Jamie, please. ]

Hi, umthsi this is Ferurlfdlgsfdg Ferrus's player.

[ And then pencil. He cannot write Ferrus in a panic, okay. Eraser marks are common. ]

The game we used to control you guys went down and Ferrus wasn't real yet so i dont know if he's going to become real or stop existing or

[ PAUSE ]

[ sorry, ravi, the eraser marks make this part really hard to read (wow Jamie) ] please could you check on him and tell me if he's okay because i'm sorry if this is being a burden but i'm worried confused want him to exist and i don't have anyone else who's his friend that i can ask

please help him if he's okay and he needs it

[ And then the message ends. He sent it without editing it beyond typos or giving it the normal restraint he would - he's tempted to send another message, but fsdgas. That first one was a mental keysmash and he's not sure how to try and iron that over. Please take it well, Ravi??? It's also got his real name, but it's obvious he entirely forgot to write it. The dragon filled it in for him. ]

[ To Siegmund, about an hour after the first one is sent. He panicked, sure, but he had a Crippling Embarrassment Attack over himself after the letter to Ravi.

So Siegmund gets a much more refined letter. In pen. Nice. Neat. He's forcing himself to not panic while he writes it. (It's substantially less messy then any other mail Jamie's sent.) ]

Ferrus is either gone or real.

[ Nothing else. The page is blank. If Siegmund's familiar with Jamie's tendency to worry, this might be... worrying. ]

[ To Ferrus:

Nothing. At all. ]

[ Any replies will probably get ignored for the first few hours or so. Also, new friends Lera and Acher get nothing and herp ]

Comments

[paladont]

[Ravi can't respond until evening, thanks day job. He was curious about it all day because he doesn't know any 'Jamie Howard,' and once he does have the chance to sit down and read it, he...doesn't even know what to say about it...]

[He re-reads it several times, cycling through feeling angry, awkward, and uncertain.]

[Ferrus isn't even his friend, just this alchemist he knows. This is a lot to ask a person who can barely function in polite society, Jamie.]

You're his player. You can't write to check on him yourself?

[redeyedmask]

[ Good. Jamie has had time to calm down. Still, the letter gets pause. ]

[ He's being selective, now, with what he writes. He's scared Ferrus stopped existing, that Ferrus will never exist and if he does then he'll hate Jamie for some small sleight anyway and fsdkjgsfghfg ]

He'd probably ignore my letter. And... if I can't log in, and he's not real, I don't know if him getting my letter means he's real or not. If I sent a letter, and got nothing back... he either ignored me, or he'll never be real at all.

[ Ravi you are Ferrus's only "friend". :c Jamie knows you don't feel like he's your friend - Heimdall's probably exposited to him in some respect about Ravi's personality before. But... he'd like to believe you'll help. ]

I'm sorry if I'm burdening you. [ He's being selfish, and he's so aware of this. He's making excuses, even though he knows they're true.

But he just wants Ferrus to exist. ]

[paladont]

[Good, he should ignore your letter. In fact Ravi should be ignoring your letter! Why is he even responding!]




[comes back to it ten minutes later]

If he doesn't exist, the dragon won't take your letter at all.

You're not really sorry. You expect me to do it anyway, even if it is a burden.

[players!!! trying to control people they didn't even create!]

[redeyedmask]

[ :c ]

No, but...

I don't know what characters do, when we don't control them. But ones that aren't real don't do anything. (Stop existing?) They can still recieve dragonmail.

If Ferrus didn't go real, but still exists as a 'game character', then... he can still recieve mail. It's just he'll never be real, and never be able to answer.

I don't expect you to. I'm sorry.

If you don't want to, don't.

Please don't do something you don't want to on my behalf.

[ He feels REALLY GUILTY for even sending that letter. Stupid, stupid, stupid!!!! ]

[paladont]

[doesn't believe you, jamie. you just makin excuses, son]

[you made the mistake of writing to somebody who has a "hate until convinced otherwise" policy with players]

[players might not be a monolith, but that doesn't mean he can't still judge them as one. he's just a little more willing to cut them some slack if they turn out to not be terrible.]

It's better if you don't write him, anyway. He probably doesn't want to hear from you.

[redeyedmask]

Probably.

[ It's okay, Ravi.

You're just making him feel worse about himself.

...But still, you aren't saying anything about not doing it. So he's hopeful. But he won't push. He doesn't want to be a burden. And neither would Ferrus.

...Would he? ]

[paladont]

[yeah, yeah, ravi will write him. grudgingly. BUT NOT FOR YOUR SAKE, JAMIE. FOR FERRUS'S SAKE. Because he at least deserves an explanation for whatever bullshit you did to him when you were controlling him.]

[bloodonthestones]

What happened?

[redeyedmask]

The Zenderael server's down. Permanently. Government took it down.

[ He wants to apologize, to be able to put into words everything he's feeling.

But Siegmund doesn't need to hear that. ]

[bloodonthestones]

Why the government?

No one knows what happened to alts who aren't real yet?

[redeyedmask]

I think they said it was dangerous. I don't know. I don't know if anyone knows what happened.

I'm scared for him.

[ Gone like the wind. ]

[bloodonthestones]

If the server is down, the forums are too. You can't ask there if anybody knows what happened.

Someone should know. It's the internet.

[redeyedmask]

The forums are still up. I checked. Apparently, people in Zenderael can access the internet, now, too.

I don't see anything, though.

[ Siegmund, your suggestions are comforting.

But he doesn't know what to do. ]

[bloodonthestones]

You're joking.

[He hasn't been paying a lot of attention to that stuff, he's had other concerns okay]

[redeyedmask]

I'm not.

[ He wants very much to prove it, but Siegmund might already have a tablet. It'd be a waste of money to go buy one for him. ]

I talked with a real character still in Zenderael a day or two ago that way.

[ Here, have his tablet. It should work, right? ]

[redeyedmask]

[ Several minutes after the first ]

I'll be needing that back.

[ OOPS ]

[bloodonthestones]

[Oh, he wasn't expecting Jamie to send him a tablet, jeez.]

[It doesn't take much digging around to realize that this is Jamie's personal tablet. He avoids snooping and goes straight to the browser.]

[hooooly shit, that actually works. this is the internet. he is in zenderael and this is fucking wikipedia.]

[he goes to the zen forums just to make sure they really are still up, and reads the GM post about the game going down]

[suddenly homesick. it was easy to pretend he wasn't when he couldn't have any contact with Earth, but not so much, now]

[checking the news to see what's going on back home. his city seems relatively untouched, except for the Rathaus-Glockenspiel going missing (he already knows where that ended up). it's kind of a relief]

[maybe he will write home, finally... And ask for his laptop and his drawing tablet... He'll figure out what to do about power later, since as far as he knows electricity hasn't come to Pakerion yet. Maybe the mages know how to set up a temporary or portable power supply...]

Thank you to let me look.

[The tablet is sent back with the letter]

[redeyedmask]

[ Jamie's tablet is actually pretty devoid of anything. It's all defaults, no cutesy background or icons or anything. Monochromatic default, and he's okay with that. ...It does make Jamie seem a bit distant, though. Much moreso then if he'd really personalized it. ]

No problem.

[ oh god yes tablet he just sort of got exasperated enough to send it but hey he's being thanked so that's good right??? ]