[PM: Deathbringer]

[taking_names]

[he was going to let this go but it just kept knocking around in his head and before he knew it he was internet stalking Siegmund to find out his identity and...]

So on a scale of one to ten, how impossible is it for a very friendly and kind person who might have once temporarily blinded you in a fit of misguided anger to make amends?

Ten means super impossible.

[...Nova has kind of a player problem]

[sent from an empty account that is just a lot of letters strung together]

Comments

[taking_names]

But then I can't be forgiven!

I just have a thing with apologies.

I swore them off a long time ago and now I don't quite remember how to do the feelings that go along with them all the time necessarily.

[bloodonthestones]

How can someone who is not sorry be forgiven?

[taking_names]

I think it requires the forgiver to be extra magnanimous.

[bloodonthestones]

[....................are you making up words or]

What means ,magnanimous'?

[taking_names]

Like... generous and possessing a lofty, enlightened spirit.

[bloodonthestones]

[...ok but...that has nothing to do with the point he's making]

It doesn't matter.

You don't need to apologize for me to forgive you. I can forgive anybody for anything if I like to, if they apologize or not.

To ask forgiving is a thing someone does to make peace for himself.

[taking_names]

I'm not sure I quite followed...

But the reason I asked is because I was kind of curious about you and I didn't think you would want to talk to me if you're still holding a grudge over how I attacked you when we first met...

[bloodonthestones]

[ugh how annoying. he doesn't know how to explain it, and he's getting the feeling that Nova isn't the kind of person who's doing this for the right reasons anyway.]

Why did you attack me and why should I think now is different?

[taking_names]

[wasn't it obvious at the time why he did it, though?!?! having to explain is somehow disappointing even though he's totally over hating players now

did his tantrum mean nothing to you, Zeekmont?!! man what a waste]

I attacked you because the world had very recently turned out to be a lie and I was having what I still feel is a perfectly reasonable if overly destructive breakdown about it. I was angry at everyone who seemed to be invading my world and participating in the lie.

Since then I've had several important epiphanies and don't blame players anymore for getting caught up in what happened. And I do regret the damage I did, although I'm not sure I'm sorry for it in the traditional way.

[bloodonthestones]

[oh he remembers. he just wants to hear nova try to justify it to him.]

['perfectly reasonable' doesn't sound like someone who acknowledges they did anything wrong, to him.]

And which part do you think deserves forgiving?

[taking_names]

I don't know if I do deserve forgiving. That was why I was appealing to your generous spirit.

[bloodonthestones]

[well, not saying he's entitled to forgiveness is a start...]

Why is it important to you if I forgive you?

[taking_names]

I don't know, maybe we could be friends!

[bloodonthestones]

I don't make friends with people who are not sorry to wrong me.

[taking_names]

What!

...That's a really specific rule!

[or it seems that way when you don't know how to be sorry]

Why not?

[bloodonthestones]

[..... r u srs]

Do you know ethics?

[taking_names]

Not... intimately...

[bloodonthestones]

[getting the feeling he has some 'wtf?!'ing to do at Nix later...]

Tell me this: if our places are opposite, and I blind you and am not sorry and want to be friends later, do you say yes?

[taking_names]

If you were sincere about it...

You might not remember, but you actually got me worse than I got you by the end of it -- you broke a lot of my potions all around me when you ran off. I lost money and those could have been poisons or the kinds of bottles that explode when they hit the ground!

But I'm not holding a grudge about that.

[bloodonthestones]

[ugh that's a good point and it is Rosh Hashanah...]

[nope he's not ready to attempt teshuvah for that one yet, he'd be lying if he said he was sorry. he'll tackle that later.]

It isn't grudges or fairness. How can I trust someone who wrongs me and isn't sorry for it?

[taking_names]

A person can resolve to change how they act toward someone moving forward, but can't resolve to be sorry for something they did in the past. Doesn't it either come naturally or not?

Usually when I'm trying to make amends I just focus on the future. Maybe I could do you a favor as a show of good faith?

[bloodonthestones]

[wow nova he is just incoherent right now with how fucking ridiculous the shit you are saying is. he doesn't even know where to start!]

Of course someone is only sorry after it happens. If he is sorry before then he doesn't do it!

Do you even understand how you did something wrong?

[taking_names]

I mean you can't decide to be sorry. You can change how you act but not how you feel. More like that.

I do know it's wrong to attack people unprovoked...

[bloodonthestones]

Do you feel bad about it or do you just know it was wrong?

[taking_names]

Should I feel bad? Are you still suffering?