So. Hear you got a promotion.

[this took seriously like 45 attempts.]

My name is Catherine Hau, and I am the new Vairya.

Acher attacked Enghelab with a bunch of goons. The last Vairya died. He got eaten by a man who became a Warhound. I hear that is new. I would not know. But, I was there and I am the Vairya now.

Acher is taken care of. I hear bad things happen in the Nenakret, too, so know that. We handle him.

English is not my first language. You can probably tell. Still I want to talk more than the last guy because he was an idiot.

[helpful drawing of a man with the Vairya's symbol instead of a face laid out on a couch with a big ZZZZZ sleep bubble overhead; the background is just fire and people running around panicking.]

Write to me if you need help from me or the Rogues.

侯颱風
Catherine Hau

[She figures out the dragons, eventually. Sent once she's found a small town a ways out from Murders Vegas. Hoo boy, this is going to be a really dumb conversation...but he needs to know, or he might double back or something.]

Can not go to Undertow yet. Stupid day has become very extra stupid.

[Below that: An actually pretty credible pencil sketch of a Warhound from the side, slavering and generally looking nasty.]

I think I have to go to Rogue HQ.

[Manually signed, in Chinese out of linguistic spite and English out of practicality: ]

侯颱風
Hau Tai Feng

Girl who switched places with my friend that one time and left him on a tower:

Did you recently drag him into some kind of dangerous shenanigans and leave him someplace weird like the top of a building or a ravine

Please fess up this is urgent

- cards guy

[circa late afternoon Thursday.]

I go out hunting and I see a bad thing happen!

[link to a Youtube or equivalent of a horrible glowing, vaguely humanoid but facially featureless apparition identifiable to smarties as the Yosgeth. It is terrorizing a horrible chimeric crocodile-kangaroo-elephant before apparently swooping in and vanishing into its body. This is shot from up high, presumably a tree given it's obviously the Pakerion jungles. It is over alarmed Chinese babbling you can go ahead and read the log if you want to translate.

Then the camera leaps down to the forest floor, and gets closer. And then steps on a branch. THAT makes it mad and it screams STRAIGHT AT THE CAMERA REALLY WAY TOO CLOSE and the video ends abruptly when our heroine starts swearing in actual English this time.

This would be a lot more Jurassic Park if the person who shot the video wasn't posting it, admittedly.]

I use the app Heimdall show me and it say it is Yosgeth, which it also say should not wander around trying to bite the butt of a cute girl!! Or of many animal monster.

[alright you stupid dragon thing let's see how you work

Sent late Tuesday of Week 35 after Tai Feng gets a visit from a man with a knife. Sorry for backlogs!!]

They come after me. Man with knife and grey cloak show while I was working. I am OK, A guy I know come and kill him. Good timing, I guess.

Man with knife say I should have stay out of it so I am pretty sure it is because of thing in Vegas.

I am not sure what to do, so I think to mail you. Guess it is good thing I have to return for gauntlets soon?

[she is sufficiently upset that the want to be sure he can respond without tracing paper outweighs her preference for signing her name only in Chinese:]

侯颱風
Hau Tai Feng

[posted via phone on howl_typhoon]

[mostly it's a cellphone picture of this horrible thing lying dead in the street outside Caesar's Palace. also there is the distinctive butt of a dire wolf. the odd camera angle is because she was at the time hanging over Rhys' shoulder like a sack of potatoes.]

This is a stupid day today!

[this one, apparently, the whole world had to know

posted from her personal account (Jupiter Bands)]

Noooo, I'm still stupid!

And I'm a BOY.

I learned why dragons don't take mail over the ocean.

( [Size cut] )

All right, so the person who died was brought back to life and was reunited with his sister, so secretly disposing of his body would have been the WORST IDEA EVER.

Just so you know.

But thank you anyway!

[The account is "hrhprincebaldwin," which Kendrick made for him.]

Greetings and salutations, people of Everea!

I am pleased to announce that I have returned from the place I was spirited away to after that dastard Aerveas invaded our lands. I am sorry that I could not defend our great city myself, but I am grateful to our allies!

I did, however, SINGLEHANDEDLY defeat Aerveas's armor of SUPER-WARHOUNDS and then the revived MECHA-AERVEAS. And I beat up like fifty thousand of his soldiers too!

HRH Prince Baldwin, by the Grace of Xumurdad

[Kendrick's gonna get screamed at by Omid for letting him post this.]

[So a bit after dragonmailing Artemis, Lera gets back to her office in Bastan and discovers that one of the bear stomachs leaked and ruined one of her books.]

TWENTY VERY ANGRY BEAR STOMACHS, HUH

IT'S THE PERFECT INGREDIENT FOR A RECIPE FOR ONE VERY ANGRY MAZDA

COMING TO A THIEVING BRAT NEAR YOU: THE MAZDA ASSWHOOPING SPECTACULAR 2050

[Not that she knows his phone isn't his. The text comes from The Mazda, soooooo.]

What do you know about rockets?

[posted Tuesday night, after the official public in-person announcement of his inheritance of the Vahishta's title]

[username: Vaheimshta]

[status: very drunk]

[conclusion: best idea]

Fuck yeah, new Vahishta bitches!

[immediate dragonmail response: "YOUR ALL HOLINESS." "fiiiiiiiiiiine"]

[ten minutes later it is deleted and replaced with: ]

As your new Vahishta I would like to make myself accessible to the people of this fine nation soemthingsomethng how doy ou even beginning tho think this wa sa bad idea fuck you doukas why couldn,t you just let me leave it that shit ws perfect

[ho hum okay enough talking to himself in text that is immediately backspaced]

to better serve their interests. Obviously I can't promise a response to everyone who contacts me, but I can promise you will be heard.

[it took him the full 10 minutes just to fix all the typoes in the final version]